Erica Jong, Fear of Flying

nutritional mouthfuls

I won’t suggest that you read Erica Jong’s Fear of Flying, because I myself couldn’t be bothered finishing it. But the following two paragraphs are, I believe, as good as it gets:

I remembered a diet column in a medical journal of Bennett’s. It seemed that Miss X had been on a strict diet of 600 calories a day for weeks and was still unable to lose weight. At first her puzzled doctor thought she was cheating, so he had her make careful lists of everything she ate. She didn’t seem to be cheating. ‘Are you sure you have listed absolutely every mouthful you ate?’ he asked. ‘Mouthful?’ she asked. ‘Yes’, the doctor said sternly. ‘I didn’t realize that had calories’, she said.

Well, the upshot, of course (with pun intended), was that she was a prostitute swallowing at least ten to fifteen mouthfuls of ejaculate a day and the calories in just one good-sized spurt were enough to get her thrown out of Weight Watchers forever. What was the calorie count? I can’t remember. But ten to fifteen ejaculations turned out to be the equivalent of a seven-course meal at the Tour d’Argent, though, of course, they paid you to eat instead of you paying them. Poor people starving from lack of protein all over the world. If only they knew! The cure for starvation in India and the cure for overpopulation – both in one big swallow! One swallow doesn’t make a summer, but it makes a pretty damn good nightcap.


2 thoughts on “nutritional mouthfuls

  1. i dunno: i dont know how many times the avarage male can come in one day, but i would think that it will in turn depend on how well fed they are. so there would be quite a bit of homosexuality involved… but im sure they could live with that.

    the problem is more statistical. if it takes 2 or 3 ejaculations to feed a person for a day, that means that a man with a wife and two kids, say, would have to ejaculate around 10 times a day. a day’s work, pretty much. so i think the economy couldn’t take it, really

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